August Giggle Blog.

montyKEEP OFF THE GRASS

My friend Annabella has been dog and house sitting, with strict instructions to make sure the dog, Monty doesn’t go on the grass. As you see from the picture, she followed the rules to the letter. Also, he was to have no chocolate cake… That’s a plastic one, so it’s alright. She had a bit of a panic when she was putting the bins out and Monty followed her to the front garden. Luckily he didn’t want to run away, seemed he’s happy where he is.

Annabella had another bit of a panic when she was back at work, and colleagues asked to see her holiday snaps. She was about to pass her phone over with pics. on it when she realised, Monty’s owner was one of the eager people waiting to see the pictures, and Monty was top of the list with his choccie cake on the grass. So a bit of quick deleting was in order. Good job she’d already emailed him to me….

DID I GIVE A FLYING FORK, OR NOT?

Digital imageNow here’s me, relaxing in the garden doing my thing. I was reading my new kindle at the time, when a voice from above shouts, “Can you chuck us a fork up please?” He leans out to show me that he remembered the sharp knife for cutting up his sausage and bacon, but forgot the fork.

“Of course,” I reply. Off to the kitchen cupboard I go, get the fork, and aim for the window.

“Nice and gently, underarm.”

I hurl it up, then… clang, it drops. Trying again, I aim, like, one, two, three.

“Nice and gently, underarm,” he repeats.

So hurling the fork, aiming for his hand, it twists and twirls, then sails jauntily over the six foot hedge and onto next door’s (my old maths teacher) back yard. Good job they were inside. I blame the postman. Fancy eating pot noodle on the job, then dropping the fork outside someone’s back door; things aren’t what they used to be are they?

Here’s a chap that will make you smile; if he doesn’t then Simon Cowell’s face will.

One extra adult giggle.

Out on my cleaning job, the hoover was halfway up some stairs and cables everywhere. As a chap went bleary eyed into the canteen, I shouted. “Watch you don’t trip.”

“I could do with a trip.” Was his reply. I don’t think he had Blackpool or Skeggie in mind.

 

In case you missed it, you can catch up with my latest Redington Serial here.

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People’s Friend interview with Samantha Tonge coming soon.

 

 

 

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Author: susanjanejones

I write articles and short stories, and this year I've become a pocket novelist for my weekly.

17 thoughts on “August Giggle Blog.”

  1. Awww good for Annabella letting Monty go on the grass! Just love the thought of the fork flying jauntily over the hedge. Wonder what your neighbours thought when they saw it 🙂
    I enjoyed reading your Redington murder serial 🙂 x

      1. The neighbours might guess I think. Once, years ago when our youngest Son came home quite well away from a good night out, he’d picked up a for sale sign from goodness know where and hurled it over the fence and shouted, ‘lets hope they take the hint!’ Bet he’d cringe at that now, but was a little bit funny at the time.

  2. I was imagining the fork ending up stuck into their prize winning cabbages and them thinking they had a theif who was stealing them a bite at a time.

  3. Ha ha, that’s hilarious Patsy, and he does grow prize winning things. Up until a year ago they had an apple tree that overhung our garden a lot, blocking out the sun. When the windfalls came, I’d go out and shout, ‘oh, lovely, apple sauce with pork chops, and apple pie for afters with all these lovely apples…’ Then they cut the tree down, result for me… now we can see the sun. Selfish neighbours. I just shouted loudly after the fork incident…. ‘wonder why the postman is eating a pot noodle, and I think he dropped his fork!’ Ha ha….

  4. As with all good storytellers you have left your readers wanting more, Susan. What I want to know is:
    Who is having a fry-up upstairs?
    Are they in bed?
    Are they too idle to come downstairs to get a fork?
    What is the best way to throw a fork? (Like a dart or like a cricket ball?)
    After failing to throw accurately did it not occur to you that it would be easier to take it upstairs?
    Having launched a potentially harmful missile into their garden, what reaction were you expecting from your neighbours?
    I feel there is more mileage in this tale. I await the sequel.

    1. Hello Keith, you’ve made me laugh more than the giggle blog. And, you’re far too sensible to linger long on here. No, go on, I’m kidding, it’s great to see and hear from you. So, if you’ve go a minute, pull up a chair.
      Our youngest son is upstairs in his massive bedroom that’s more like a bed-sit having his fry up, and watching television. Not that he’s idle at all. He works hard, and when not at his telephone job, he’s a gardener, and a handy-man. So, where I’m sitting on the yard. I’m only four or five paces from the kitchen drawer. He’s got to go along a landing, down the stairs, and along another passageway, and he thought it might be quicker for me to hurl one up.
      As it happens, in the end, he came down for one, as we ended up laughing as my second attempt at fork throwing went haywire. And I didn’t give a flying fork….
      We don’t speak to the neighbours since they came round to tell us to stop cutting their hedge, which is actually our hedge. She is my old maths teacher, and since moving here, I’ve felt the need to spout my eight times tables every time I see her. They used to have this idea, that we can’t cut our hedge until they’ve done theirs so that we can cut to the same level as theirs. I’m boring myself now, but you get the gist…..
      The best way to throw a fork, I’d say is gently underarm, but I did more of a boomerang ballet type throw. He’d have been better to lower a fishing line down thinking about it. Glad you called by.

      1. Phew!
        No wonder you didn’t put all these details in your original post. But do you realise that with flying forks, the possibility of a fishing rod out of the bedroom window and a dog with a plastic cake, you have enough going on here to commission a new series of My Family?

    1. Awww, thanks Lynne, I like to see the funny side of things if possible. I do have a serious side as well though. Maybe we should balance it with a boring blog and say the most boring thing that’s happened. No, perhaps not…. off to have a read of your giggles now. xx

  5. I have been laughing out loud again, Sue, and I don’t give a ‘flying fork’ if anyone thinks I’m losing it!!!! A great post as usual and I really enjoyed your serial too. 😉

    1. Ha ha Jan, no you’re not losing it and I don’t give a flying fork either if anyone thinks we are. Good to have a laugh isn’t it? So glad you enjoyed the serial, and thanks for your help with it. Now I’m going to do it all again with Murder on the Market……. great to hear from you:)))

  6. Lovely dog – I’d let him go on the grass, but only if I was sure the neighbours wouldn’t be throwing forks over the fence … Thanks for the giggle!

  7. They’re a strange lot these Midlander’s aren’t they Linda…? But my Norfolk saga stories set in Redington has some stranger people still….:)) Speaking of which, I should be getting on with the next one. Talk soon. x

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