May Giggle Blog

Last week, I needed to get a new dress for a do coming up this weekend. Well, a meal rather than a do. And, speaking of meals, I think I’ve been overdoing it a bit. When I went in to the changing rooms, armed with three items I liked, I seemed to have attracted three unwanted guests.

There was Mrs chinigan who’d stuck herself around my neck. Her friend, Mrs hipster morish-moremore, who’d attached to my waist, and their mate came at me from behind, she’s Mrs wobble-bottom. They gave me a fright; especially as there were five mirrors, all showing close ups of these unwanted invaders. They have to go. I don’t want them around at all.

Not surprisingly, none of the items fitted, so I went off on a tangent and took three over-sized items in which were too big. Eventually, to the sales girl’s relief, I settled on the medium ones. (That’s me being kind to myself)

ATT00077

So I’ve been at the gym every day, bashing them all with the rowing machine, treadmill and other things they don’t like. I know they all hate oranges as well, and eggs. So I’m on the orange and egg plan, with salad, to get rid of these hags who have had the cheek to adopt me.

 

Here’s a preview of the dress I ended up with. The lovely sales assistant told me, ‘that’s quite a find, the only one of it’s kind in the store. So, hope to wear it quite a lot before I kick those three intruders off.

photo (2) Here’s me with my gym buddy who makes sure I turn up, and batter the three invaders.

Speaking of adopting, I went to a job interview. It was for a job in a coffee shop in a clothes shop, in a ski-centre. Sounds confusing? When I told people, they said, ‘oh, yes, the ski-centre’s a great place to work. It was one of those ‘fun’ days. Oh, haven’t had so much fun since I fell off a gate!

A group of around fifteen of us assembled in a room at the top of the ski-centre. First of all, I naturally went into the coffee shop in there. Almost had a cake and coffee, but I’d have been late, so resisted. A couple of tables were full of people, busy writing, and another table was free. There was a chap busy filling in his form, so I joined him. He looked familiar. Turns out he used to collect the rubbish from outside our shop on the estate. He was funny. Didn’t want to give personal details, hadn’t got a reference. Before we went, they’d told us if we hadn’t got this list of five things, with those two on it, we wouldn’t be considered for the job.

After that, he attached himself to me, and began following me around. Much like Mrs chinigan and hipster morish-moremore, and that pest Mrs wobble-bottom, he adopted me for the day. We had to stand up and tell the group about our partner. Which, by now, he’d made sure I was his partner. (oh lords and ladies…) He completely forgot everything I’d told him about me. The only thing he remembered was that I’d had a shop….  One of the main things was, you had to love coffee for this job, which was in a Starbucks, that’s going to be coming in a Next. I actually much prefer earl-grey tea, so when I didn’t get the job I didn’t cry buckets. The funniest thing was, Mr new best friend shouted after me as I left, ‘see you again, when we work together!’

Sorry I can’t post the video as promised, everyone’s deleted it from their phones. (I think they had an inkling I’d be posting it here:)

A giggle from Ann; she had a week off recently, and as you do, she had a browse around indeed, where you see what jobs are on offer. As you would, she posted her c.v. and viewed a few options.

Ann and Iwie.

After a nice week off, visiting her brother, and popping to see us, she went back to work. The manager said, “can I have a word, are you leaving us?” Ann kept a straight face and said, “oh, no, why would I do that? I’m happy here, oh no, most definitely not.” (For some reason I think a Mrs Doubtfire voice would work best here.

“Oh, only your c.v. has turned up in the hotel, as applying for the job there.”

Ann works on the receptionist in the spa, of the same hotel. The useful people, or robots at indeed, automatically send your c.v to employers where they think you’d be suited. Ten minutes later, I had one of those texts, omg. cringe…cringe… guess what???

Digital image

For the rest of the day, she kept getting asked, ‘so you’re not looking for another job?’

She’s happy where she is, so hopefully she explained, that her c.v. had always been on there, and it’s the indeed automated service:0)

Digital image Our Son popped in the other day. He was busy texting, so I asked him, ‘have you got a new girlfriend?’ He said, ‘yes.’ So I asked him if he had a photo. He replied. ‘Hang on, not sure if there’s one of her with her clothes on!’ Luckily there was, and she’s really pretty, lucky girl I’d say.

 

People’s Friend interview with Pat Posner is coming up on 12th May, and it’s a good one.

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Author: susanjanejones

I write articles and short stories, and this year I've become a pocket novelist for my weekly.

23 thoughts on “May Giggle Blog”

  1. Well you made me giggle – lots! I hate those changing rooms with so many mirrors. That last bit cracked me up, “Not sure if there’s one of her with her clothes on!” x

    1. He was making me laugh of course Teresa. When I told his brother, he said, ‘he’s got loads of her.’ Clothed he meant. That’ll teach me to be nosey won’t it?

  2. Lovely post! Good for you going to the gym, Suzy – I need to do that but prefer to dance or walk. Mind you, if I could stop overeating, it would help!

  3. It’s not easy when you love food is it Rosemary? Walking is good as well, it’s drastic action for me, and trying (loosely speaking) to eat less chocolate. Glad you popped in.

    1. Yes Harliqueen, he was laughing at my trousers today. I said, well you need laugh, you’re wearing your girlfriends trackie bottoms.’ He said, ‘no they’re unisex!’ At least we went, and bashed some fat, (in my case.)

  4. Enough to say, I’m sure there’s a waiting list for gym buddy’s classes! 😉 😉
    I loved the names you’ve given your unwanted friends who followed you into the changing rooms. As a fellow chocoholic, there’s nothing like clothes shopping to show you the error of your ways, is there?!
    Great giggle! 🙂

  5. Yes, he’s helpful to everyone who asks. It’s more often females than males though:) And those old bags seem to be following me around Jan. I’ve had enough of them now. Drastic action from now on. Wobble bottom & Co have to go…

  6. You’ve inspired me, Susan. I’m getting myself off to the gym. Hmm, well maybe not the gym, but definitely going to walk more – and cut the calories.
    …And I WON’T eat any more chocolate strawberry creams…I won’t eat any more GORGEOUS chocolate strawberry creams. Sigh. Rx

    1. No, they’re too attractive to mrs chinigan wobble-bottom and hipster morish moremore. They sneak up on you when you’re not expecting them Rena. I have to kick mine off. Thanks for popping in.

  7. Lots of giggles there, Sue. I can sympathise with you having intruders. It’s always scary when you start removing those layers of winter clothing and find the dreaded spare tyre has returned. Mine seems bigger than ever this year and harder to shift.

    1. I’m getting those intruders worried this week Lynne, with porridge fresh fruit, and smaller meals and no crisps cakes or biscuits. For a day anyway, lots of fat bashing at the gym as well.

  8. I’m so behind with my blogging stuff. Only just read this – but I’m glad I did. Brightened up a very dreary subbing job, thank you. I’m off to FitSteps tonight to see if I can shake of the Muffintop Sisters.

    1. Glad you popped in Julia, and so glad to brighten up the dreariness. Hope the subbing went well, good luck with it. Those muffintop sisters will get the message by time you’ve done the fitsteps.

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